Lost in Love and Distance [Tyrol/Public]

Where was he supposed to go? The carnival was done for the day, men and women were moving costumes or animals or props. Was this where he was directed? Was this even the right carnival? He was supposed to help his sister here, but now, now he couldn't even find his sister. She seemed to fine for this sort of place. What happened to the carnival she used to work at?

He stopped someone, "Excuse me, sir, do you know where Franziska Schuetzeneur is....?"

"No." And they left.

Bernard could not believe it. His hometown, people were so nice, but here they were not. It was like he was visiting the city.

He stopped to ask someone else.

They did the same.

Maybe there was no Franziska Schuetzeneur in this carnival. Maybe the distance he travelled and the odds he went to meant nothing. Maybe she was comfortable in her old carnival. Maybe what he had heard were just rumors.

Or maybe she was in more trouble than he imagined. Maybe she was dead?

Bernard left the tent, walking faster, speaking to more people, becoming even more worried.

His dear baby sister.... She was cold and distant to him, but that was because she was hard like the cityfolk or these carnival folk. Her emotions were there, just as present as the Tyrolean's emotions. But while his were a slug, hers were a snail. He loved her with all his heart. And she acted as if she had no heart to love him with. But that was an act, Bernard knew her well enough to know that. His loyalty for his baby sister knew no bounds. Or maybe it did know bounds.

Was that possible?

Was it bound by time and distance, or lie and truth? Did he not make it on time?

The tall and bulky man stopped in the middle of the vast carnival in that vast country. Where was she?

((This would probably be before the chat with Vesna, as he first arrives. Also, making public so others can join if they like.))

As far as Franze knew, the rest of her family had stayed in Austria. And, having heard almost no news, had no idea how they or her country fared. But they both were resilient, people who lived off of the land and a land that always renewed itself with vibrant life after winter. She was like neither. She wasn't suited to live like them; the landscape was beautiful but she would never be adept enough at the life she was supposed to live to respect it. Hence, she had ended here... where there was nothing, and almost no one. She couldn't imagine any of her family would step foot on the cracked earth.

She had finally found a niche in the nothingness, though. Workers here had a habit of ruining their clothes. She knew how to mend and make clothing-- with a sewing machine, which was more than could be said for others there-- and quickly became the seamstress, perhaps out of the other's want to see her live the lifestyle of people who had served her in the past. So although she was not as resilient as her family, she had to pretend.

Hearing a bustling outside the tent she was working (when workers seemed disgruntled it was usually for someone who had no place being there-- she knew the noise well), she stopped her work and looked out, seeing... well, she didn't exactly know if what she was seeing was real. Had this place finally driven her mad?

It was Bernard. Simple, misguided (in her opinion) Bernard. Not having seen any family in quite a while, she wondered how she would even approach him. Was he there to take her back? Her heart grew for a moment before she remembered the man who guarded her here. Would she want to go back? He looked more lost than anything, Franze realized with something between embarrassment and pity. She took slow steps out, stopping a ways before reaching him, to lure him away from the men working.

"Brüder," She called out surprisingly calm-- she didn't know what emotion was appropriate. Since 'what are you doing here' seemed fairly obvious, she instead said with a small smile, "Ich bin hier."

"Brüder"

That perfectly small, and perfectly high pitched and perfectly familiar voice was all he needed to hear. He did not need her to inform him that she was there. He knew she was there. Nobody in the world sounded quite like her. Nobody. And emotions surged forth like some internal tsunami. He was filled with joy, with relief, with a little bit of sadness. He felt everything all so suddenly.

"Franze...." Tears surged to his eyes, as the well over as the man lifted up his much shorter sister. Tightening her into an almost suffocating embrace, he smiled. The moment lasted forever. She, even if she was struggling, he could only feel her love. He needed her physically there, to know that this really was her. The last time they had seen each other was so long ago.

He placed her down.

The look of happiness was exchanged with a look of concern. She looked so thin and tiny. It might be just because with time, he got bigger, and she stayed the same. But that probably wasn't it. Her presence seemed tinier. Her authority was gone, as her nice clothing was less nice.

"I've missed my sister so much..... What... What happened....?" He could only begin, lifting the sleeve of his odd clothing to rub the tears from his cheeks. "You... You, have they not fed you?!" He lifted her arm. There was a slight, old and faded bruise on it. "What...What happened....?"

And he drew her into another hug, before she had time to say anything. She was so missed. Though they did not even live near each other back home. He wanted her home. She would be safe back home. He could be there for her at home. She would not need to bruise herself, or to starve herself back home. He could be there to help her when she needed him.

Normally she would have struggled. She wasn't keen on letting most people see her emotion, or emotion towards her, usually. But she could only wrap her arms around his broad shoulders-- he'd gotten taller since she'd seen him last-- and perhaps prove to those that had looked down on her and even herself that she was a decent human being. Her brother knew that even when she didn't. "Don't cry..." She said to herself as much as him. Though her tears stayed neatly above her cheeks-- crying wasn't something she did in public, either. Perhaps this was what she had tried to imitate when she dared to hug Itakshir's bear.

Having no idea where to begin answering any of his questions, she just smiled sadly and replied, "I think I got into some trouble, Berni." Was that what to call it? Trouble she had most likely made for herself-- but maybe he knew that. She let herself get swept into another hug, burying her face into his shirt, that warm expanse of his middle that came with too much beer with friends. Pulling away finally, she took his hand. "You're making a scene," She alerted him, trying to muster up the indignation from her he was used to. Pulling him along into the tent, she admonished, "Come with me, then I'll talk to you."

He may have been making a scene. But this moment deserved a scene. Franze was always so worried about her appearance. She was always worried what the public thought of her. She was worried that they would see her brother's affection? He never understood why. But that was Franze. He wanted to cry some more, because this action was so painfully Franze. Even though she was not affectionate, he knew her heart was so capable of it. She was Viennese and he was Tyrolean, but they were both from Austria. And they were siblings. Their last names were different, but they were siblings.

He followed her. He was so eager to follow her. To help his sister, he was always eager.

"I....We all missed you so much...." He stated. That was all he wanted to say now. He wanted to hear his sister's words. He wanted to know of her suffering.

And he wanted to make everything all better.

She pushed him to sit at her sewing table while she dragged a chair in from outside. Self-sufficiency was something she was just realizing she was capable of.

She never should have left her family (no matter how different she felt to them) to go and "make something of herself". Because she only became a puppet of popular opinion, not counting for anything at all. And then she returned to nothing, here. It was quite like the tale of the Prodigal Son, if she would have remembered it. She didn't pay much attention in church.

"I thought I was doing okay for a while..." She began. "I was in charge of a different carnival-- a better looking one," just to assure him she hadnt always dressed this way. "Then a man came along and said he loved me... And so he took over. I loved him, so I let him... He was smarter than me, I think..." Smarter or not, he had duped her. "But he didn't really love me..." It still hurt to admit. "One night I got him angry enough over it and he gave me this--" She gestured to the near-faded bruise. "It doesn't hurt anymore. But I left and now... Now I'm here." Whether she was wanted there or not.

"I was just being a fool." Pretending to be grown up. Had she learned her lesson? Franze wasn't sure. "Lately i've been a little sick... Stress, I think. But I get enough to eat." Almost too much, if that African looking woman had something to say about it.

She gave him another smile. "Its stupid to be upset over things that have already happened Berni. You're stupid."

He was uncomfortable with just how humble the room was. It was not like Bernard was unused to it. But wasn't his sister? Was Franze sewing for these people? He never imagined she would get a job like this.

"Ah....I am stupid...." He smiled with a resounding laugh. "And my sister is very smart...Much smarter than any other men, I am sure. But I think she is just as stupid as me when she goes off on her own, hurts herself, and doesn't even call anyone back for help."

"....I'm sorry I could not have been there, Franze. I... your right, it already happened.... But I wish I could be there sooner for you." If only Franze had sent note when she was in trouble. Or maybe, he should have been there for her initially before things turned out like they did. He could have stopped that man. A wave of guilt ran across him.

"You should come home, Franze... You are very missed. You will be less sick and less stressed at home. And much happier. I brought enough money for you to get home..." Not that home was much safer. What it was becoming... She would probably deem her hometown unrecognizeable... But at least she would be with family. Being with family was being safe.

What could she say that he hadn't said already? She nodded, discretely trying to wipe tears out of her eyes before they could spill over.

"You would have been very disappointed in me if you saw me like i was." She laughed shakily. "I don't think it was really me..." It was more what other people had projected on her. But wasn't it her fault, for just accepting all of it as her own? It had been a while, but she felt there was still alot to think about.

"...Go home...?" The acknowledgement came out uneasily. It wasn't that this place was her home (far, far from it), but... For once there were some people, or, one person, that she didn't want to leave. "I don't know... I think I'm fine here..." Clearly not. "I just still have adjusting to do, that's all..."

He paused. Bernard had convinced himself before he arrived that Franze was going to want to come back. She may have been stubborn earlier... But when she saw her big brother again, he just knew she would want to return. She was unsafe... and he would make her safe. Did she see it that way? Bernard did.

"I don't think I would be dissapointed in you...." He began, almost becoming shy at the topic. "Never... Even though you left us... I was never dissapointed..." Though he was dissapointed that she didn't want to come back.. He wasn't dissapointed in her, just dissapointed...

"Maybe I'm just confused...." He laughed, rubbing the tears from his eyes again. "Confused why you want to stay with people and stay in a place that makes you sick... Instead of coming home to us. I.. don't understand things as well as you do, I guess... We love you, Franze... I love you, and I would never lie to you... or hurt you... like the person... people who lie to you here."

He didn't know what to say, other than that. Franze was so stubborn, and Bernard had so few words to convince her. He only had genuine feelings. If that could do anything for her.

"I don't want you to be hurt anymore..."

((fffffffff /crashing, but with permission XD))

Itakshir didn't get to spend nearly as much time around Franze as he would have liked. For one thing, their jobs within the carnival were completely different, and kept them separated during busier parts of the day. Not to mention that when he wasn't practicing or performing, he still had to tend to his bear. And then there was hunting, and sleeping, both of which he considered equally necessary for his survival, but took up entirely too much time. Whatever was left over was all he had to work with.

...Well, except when he wasn't playing hooky during practice. Which he did. Often. As was the case now.

Having left his bear to work on it's roaring (though, in reality, it was probably taking advantage of his absence to nap), he slipped into the tent and jogged up to where she sewed (he was quite proud of her for working so hard, though it would have felt strange to say so)...only to be confronted by an unusual sight. Who on earth was she talking to?

Approaching the pair, he gave his customary grin, "Hey, Franze--" Getting a closer look at the unknown man, he noted cheerfully what strange clothes he was wearing...and also a certain familiar look about him. "Who's this? Your relative?" It was a wild guess, to say the least. They didn't really look all that much alike, at first glance, but there was something there...one could just tell. Perhaps because Itakshir himself came from a large, but very close (or, at least...they were, until they'd been separated) family.

Maybe he wasn't disappointed. Put perhaps he didn't know any better. She was sure she was thoroughly looked down upon for her decision by the other members of the family. For that, she was glad it was him coming to see her and not anyone else... But maybe he was the only one willing to go.

Why wasn't she wanting to leave? That was hard to explain to an older brother... Especially after she'd just explained her problems were caused by another man. "Not everyone lies to me..." She began, trying to make him get the hint. "And I do have... A friend..."

She nearly jumped as the tent opened again... Speak of the devil. Well at least there would be no jumping to conclusions-- the two looked quite alike, size difference aside. "Yes... This is my brother, Bernard." She stood as if to walk over to him, but maybe that wasn't right to do at the moment. So she just stood awkwardly in between them.

When this new figure did enter, the Tyrolean did jump. Though he seemed unalert, he was now very aware to the man before him. It was a short man. Bernard could probably pick him up if he liked. He should have picked him up. This man seemed friendly... but was he one of those men that hurt his sister?

Maybe even the man?

"Who is this Franze....?!" he snapped, nearing closer to the smaller man. Bernard was intimidating. He was friendly, but with size alone he could be intimidating. He hoped he was intimidating to this man, if he was that one.

He could only assume he was one of the people that were awful to his sister. The way he described it, it seemed like this whole world was against her.

But there was something about this guy... He was friendly looking... but very strange looking. Bernard had never seen a person like him before. His features were a little odd, his body was odd, his height was odd, he spoke odd. Everything seemed very odd about him. Through that look of, what Bernard hoped was some toughness, was a genuine glance of perplexity. He didn't know what to expect of unusual looking people. He didn't know if they would be as friendly as his people, or as unfriendly as other people.

If he was mean to Franze, then clearly, he was from one of those unfriendly races of people.

She understood his suspicion, but she had told him she was away from the man that caused all the problems. She snapped at him to stop and listen in German, just like she always used to at home. She wasn't that far gone yet. "This is... My friend. The one I was just talking about. The one that's a good person..."

If possible, she wouldn't tell her brother that this was the man she wanted to fall in love with. He wouldn't approve, she'd begin to doubt herself, and there went all of her progress. And of course, she wouldn't-- couldn't tell Itakshir that Bernard was there to take her home. It wouldn't happen, as far as she was concerned.

Well, this man was...certainly more...threatening than he'd seemed at first. If he hadn't already been established as her brother, he might have even assumed that he was the man. The Ainu's broad smile wavered uncertainly. His mind, well-honed from experience, immediately jumped to the conclusion he knew best: it was because he was Ainu. It was prejudice. Had to be. Surely, it was the only reasonable explanation.

...Or maybe it was because the man thought that he was getting it on with his sister. That was very plausible, too. Itakshir knew that, as a brother, he would have just about strangled anyone that was putting their hands on his own baby sister(s). Especially if said person was himself.

"Itakshir," he tried to keep his cool, introducing himself with as much friendliness as he could, while basically being forced to observe their considerable height difference (funny, he never felt this intimidated around Cosim). "I'm Franze's friend." He practically added a 'Right?' to the end of that, as though he himself needed assurance. In the back of his mind, he wondered what he would do if the man decided to pick a fight with him. He would have to defend himself, of course, but he couldn't very well fight back, if it was Franze's relative. That would, no doubt, earn few points with her.

He turned back, in almost the exact same manner as a dog who had just gotten in to trouble. The way she shouted at him was always so scary. Her accent was also a little scary (much different from the warm accents of people from the Tyrol.) She was his little sister, younger and much smaller.... But she still did intimidate him.

"I'm sorry..." Bernard began, in shame. But again, like a troublesome dog, his shame did not last for very long. A warm smile spread across his face, as he took the shorter man in for a great hug. Even if this man was of a funny looking race, he was obviously a good person if he was good to his sister.

"If you are Franze's friend, then I am so very glad." His sudden affections for this little man did not allow him to let go. "You know my sister is a very good person, yes? You are also, then." It always occured to Bernard a little too late when he was making people physically uncomfortable. He pulled the Ainu away, but his large hands still held on to him.

"You help her very much?"

He turned back to his sister.

"He does?"

She'd almost forgotten she'd had that kind of attitude in her. It comforted her, to know that she could stand up for herself, at least that much. Yet, she wondered what Itakshir thought about it-- after all, the time she'd been here had been one of somberness, and exploring a world she thought she knew. She wasn't actually ready to be all she used to, yet.

But family brought out the...best in everyone, and she was about to slap Bernard as he just pulled the smaller man into a hug for almost no reason. And she very well would have slapped him, if the man being hugged wasn't as easygoing as he was. So she jus took a deep breath and let it go.

"Yes... He helps me very much. And that's why..." It didn't seem like a solid argument. "That's why I'm staying here..."

((How did I not see babby's post before--oh, whatever, I'm too tired to change it now. :I))

The Ainu was able to breathe a sigh of relief when his named was cleared without question. He was not, however, prepared for what came next. Yelping slightly when he was suddenly grabbed seemingly out of nowhere, he found himself being embraced by the man who he'd just previously feared was going to sock him one right in the face.

Laughing, he returned the hug with a few friendly slaps on the back. Whether he recognized it or not (and he probably didn't), it had been some time since he'd been around someone as innocently kind as he himself was.

"Of course, Franze's a great person," he grinned sincerely, "The best that I know. I didn't know her family lived nearby, though." In fact, he wasn't aware that she had a family, at all--though in fairness, she didn't know the same of him. It wasn't something discussed often, amongst the carnies, given their circumstances and backgrounds.

He was about to wave away the statement that he helped her so much--he did it because he wholeheartedly wanted to, after all. But he was stopped by her next words.

"That's why I'm staying here..."

He looked to her in surprise, though he didn't know what to say. She'd just established that she didn't want to leave, but simultaneously that the option had been presented for her to do so. And she'd turned it down because of him? It was probably a good thing that her brother was inadvertantly restraining him, or he might have been driven to kiss her, nevermind that doing so would be inappropriate in front of the present company.

"We don't, we live in Austria, very far away from this country. I am so glad you make her happy while I am gone." He grinned. Just to know his sister was happy was enough. She could have been dead by now, if nobody was there to treat her kindly. Did this man save her life? Bernard did not doubt it. So even if he was strange looking, Bernard knew to take this type of person as family. For he was his sister's family while she was here. He was so overwhelmed with joy.

"That's why I'm staying here..."

And then it was gone.

As his smile froze off, a frown slipped its way on to his face. He came all the way over to bring her back. He came all the way over to rescue her.

But she did not want to be rescued?

That was one thing that he never expected to hear.

"Fr...Franze....?" He stiffled. His expression was almost pathetic. He didn't understand why. Why she would leave her family and go off with her new family member? Did she like this new man better than her brothers and sisters? He couldn't articulate how it made him feel. He couldn't comprehend how it made him feel. Bernard, who was so often happy, found it difficult to understand being this sad.

But it did make him feel very sad.

"...He... He can come back home...Does...." What could he say? "....Why...?"

He was responsible, he was strong, he was in charge of himself... But he was childlike. While she was none of those things, and childish. She always found it especially difficult to explain the way she saw things to someone so different.

"I can visit all of you, I'm sure. I can write you letters and tell you how I am. But for now... I want to stay here. I need to think about some things... And if I go home... I can think those things but I can't do anything by them. And that would make me unhappy." She made a desperate appeal to someone who had never thought the same way. "You know?" If she was growing to love someone here, being pulled away before she could decided if love was what it was would always have her wondering what would have happened had she stayed. "I don't know how those thing's will turn out but I know my brother will always come to get me." A sudden inspiration, just to make him happy, forgetting about the consequences. "How about you stay for a while, and see. I'm sure everyone here will like you alot." She grinned jokingly. "Because they don't much like me."

Gesturing to the Ainu, she explained, "His home is here, and maybe after I understand why... It can be mine, too."

Wow, he'd come a long, long way to bring her back home. It was said that bravery often went hand-in-hand with stupidity, and it may have been so, for Itakshir was generally not a coward. But he felt afraid then. It felt like there was a weight in his stomach and a giant hand clenched around his ribs. He wasn't sure if he looked as sick as he suddenly felt, but he knew that the happiness had been wiped clean off of his face (not unlike Bernard).

What if she went away? She'd refused to go back, but her brother didn't look too thrilled; what if he insisted? What if he convinced her to go? How could Itakshir convince her to stay? Did he have the right to...?

He was honestly frightened. Already, he'd devoted far more time to her than any woman he'd been with before, and yet, not nearly as much as he wanted. Not nearly as often or intimately.

But she pushed her point, and he began to feel a little heartened. When she suggested her brother stay with them, he couldn't help jumping onboard with the idea, clapping the taller man on the shoulder. "Yeah, you came all this way, why not stay? Everyone'll like you--I can already tell." He wanted to add that he liked Franze enough for everyone there, but he had to content himself with flashing her a supportive smile.

He did not understand how it would make her unhappy. He did not understand her reasoning at all. How was it possible that being so far away from one's family would make them happy? Staying away from his family for too long would make him unhappy...

But that also meant that staying away from Franze too long would also make him unhappy. She was gone for very long. And for very long he had to worry about his little sister. He didn't understand. Looking at the Ainu man... He still couldn't understand. Why would he matter so much to her...?

But he should not be sad. He should be happy.

But didn't Franze get into this mess because of her devotion to a man? That was what she said.

He felt scared. Not for himself, but for her.

...Or maybe for himself.

When the two mentioned the idea of living at the carnival... That idea was scary. He had never lived away from home. No, he never knew what life was like outside of his beautiful Tyrolean home. And she was suggesting this now. This place was full of strange and unfriendly people. He felt uncomfortable with the idea.

"....Franze... can't you....think it over...?" he began, unsure how to respond to the pat on the back by the little man. Surely, these words would seem rude to the odd looking man. Bernard would have liked to be friendly to all people, especially people as friendly as this man... But he did not know how to respond. Bernard was as warm as men got, but to this man... he now could only seem cold. This man was taking away his sister, wasn't he? She was, in a way, choosing him as her protector, and not Bernard. She offered to welcome him here... But did she even want him...?

He felt a little sick. As his hopes were crushed, he could not feel anything but sick.

"I don't understand... I think..."

Even if she wanted to tell him what was actually going on between herself and Itakshir, what would she say? She ran the words in her head-- beau, boyfriend... None of them seemed right. So she just would say nothing more about it.

"I'll think about it..." That wasn't true. "Only if you'll stay and see that I'm getting happy here. It just... Takes a while." Then, another thought struck her, which she was really quite reluctant to offer... But if it would make him happy... "I still have my dirndl I brought from home. So you can work-- I'll dance with you in an act. Everyone will love it." Probably not, but everyone was bound to love him.

"So stay a while while I think. You came all this way, you might as well stay with me for a while." Although men and women were separated in the evenings-- she could only hope Itakshir knew how to keep his mouth shut for his own sake. "Please?"